Sestina from the Life of a Double Monster
(A poem after "Scenes from the Life of a Double Monster" by Vladimir Nabokov)
by Greggory Moore

In your eyes,
I see my will
reflected in your face, as surely
as you have a face, the struggle does not die,
the struggle for you to break from
our shared atavism, this

inexorable tie, this
literal bond, the connectedness that you and I
share. But there is no escape from
us, nor for us. No amount of will
can ever make a difference. The die
is cast. The fates are sure.

In a fashion, sure,
I have loved you. This
condition left me little choice. Die
and you would kill me, as I
must live for you. We will
always be thus dependent, no escape from

our biology. We, a bicellular life from
the liver of God -- for surely
He was angry when He willed
us into condemnation, this
prison of abnormality, this burden both you and I
must bear until we die.

And until we die,
I will curse God from
morning until night. I
will dream of hatred and revenge as surely
as this brain of mine, this
half of all our thoughts, will

retain the ability to think. My will
is immutable, and dyed
into the fabric of my very soul. Our soul. This
bicephalous singularity from
which I've never been apart, I surely
have never reconciled. But I

will never escape from
us, as surely as there will be death,
and this H for solitary I.

Greggory Moore is a poet and essayist whose work has been published in England, Australia, New Zealand, Canada, and the United States. His essay on Stanley Kubrick's "2001: A Space Odyssey" will appear in late February 2000 in the online film journal Images.

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